Rumors

NEW YORK - Looks like the self proclaimed "King of All Media" is out to conquer another new medium: or is he just running scared? Rumors are running rampant that Howard Stern is unhappy with his paltry 4 million listeners on Sirius Satellite Radio, and wants to widen his audience. Stern has repeatedly remarked that a return to regular terrestrial radio is out of the question, due to the limits imposed by the FCC. So where does one go to garner a larger audience? Look no further than Western Union.

Lothar here, with exciting news about the new Knight Rider movie. You might be wondering why I used a picture of "The Hoff" for this article when it's been rumored that he won't be in the movie. Well, my sources tell me that he's DEFINITELY IN the movie, but no word yet on whether or not he's playing Michael Knight.

Lothar here... don't know how I feel about this news. I mean... I think "The Rock" is a good choice to play "The Paddle", but "The Ball" is the more difficult role to pull off. It's not easy to make viewers believe in a square ball. Is Jack Black really the right choice? We'll have to wait and see. Of course, this info is only a rumor. Here's what our spy uncovered:

Lothar here, with a pretty substantial rumor submitted by "Milky Joe". Some portions have been edited to protect the source's identity.

I came across an article that might interest you. I work for {deleted} and often have to {deleted}. When I got up off my knees, I happened to glance on her desk and saw a story due to be published tomorrow. Thought I'd give you the scoop first. Great news if you ask me. If you use this, just call me Milky Joe.