NEW YORK - Looks like the self proclaimed "King of All Media" is out to conquer another new medium: or is he just running scared? Rumors are running rampant that Howard Stern is unhappy with his paltry 4 million listeners on Sirius Satellite Radio, and wants to widen his audience. Stern has repeatedly remarked that a return to regular terrestrial radio is out of the question, due to the limits imposed by the FCC. So where does one go to garner a larger audience? Look no further than Western Union.

Since his move to Sirius, Howard has not only seen his audience dwindle, his once endless stream of A-list guests has nearly dried up. Recent guests such as Donald Trump, Aerosmith and Van Halen are a far cry from the talent that once appeared on the show during it's hey day. "Trump is no Grandpa Al Lewis", remarks Jon Dibble, Editor in Chief of Radio Buzz Magazine. "Stern needs to do something fast if he wants to attract new listeners, and Western Union has been looking for a way to revive its floundering telegraph business. If you ask me, it's a perfect match."

With a telegraph, listeners will no longer have to pay monthly fees like they do now with satellite radio. They simply have to buy the telegraph, a 6 volt lantern battery, and a decoder book, which will reportedly retail for about $59.99. A more expensive model will be able to record broadcasts on ticker tape, for later replay. This could mean big bucks for Stern and crew, but it's still a big gamble. "I can't believe he's leaving all of that Sirius money behind", continues Dibble. "Stern has plenty of money to keep going, but what about his staff? Robin Quivers (Sterns on-air partner) has a fleet of cars, a herd of horses, a yacht, a mini-sub and palatial estates to maintain," explains Dibble. "And comedian Artie Lange isn't going to have it easy either. Cream-filled snack cakes, root beer and Doritos don't grow on trees you know." Shares of Hostess and Frito Lay are down almost 10 points on the news.

If the venture is successful, Stern and company plan to expand to other outlets not regulated by the FCC, including ham radio, semaphore, smoke signals and pony express.