Lothar here, with a pretty substantial rumor submitted by "Milky Joe". Some portions have been edited to protect the source's identity.

I came across an article that might interest you. I work for {deleted} and often have to {deleted}. When I got up off my knees, I happened to glance on her desk and saw a story due to be published tomorrow. Thought I'd give you the scoop first. Great news if you ask me. If you use this, just call me Milky Joe.

And here's the article in all its glory...

Heath Ledger's last minute pull out from Christopher Nolan's Batman sequel left the Director scrambling for a replacement. The search is over, however, and the next Joker is reported to be none other than "Million Dollar Baby", Hilary Swank. "We are excited and thrilled to have landed an actress so adept at playing dudes... or near dudes," gushed Nolan, referring to Swank's turns in 1999's "Boys Don't Cry", and 2004's "Million Dollar Baby."

Ledger's unfortunate allergic reaction to the Joker make-up during pre-production tests forced the MTV Movie Award Winner to back out, paving the way for two time Oscar winner Swank. "I'm so excited," beamed Swank, who when asked about any reservations she might have acting in heavy make-up replied, "This is actually the first movie I've been in where I'll be wearing make-up of any kind, so it'll be a new experience indeed."

Her famous smile undoubtedly helped her gain the role of Gotham City's "Clown Prince of Crime", but could her other "large assets" prove a hindrance to the performance? "Not at all," claims Swank. "My boobs weren't a problem in 'Boys Don't Cry', and they won't be a problem here. Besides," she continues, "they're only slightly bigger than Jack Nicholson's, and actually quite a bit smaller than Cesar Romero's were," referring to the last two actors to portray the villain on film.

Production begins in early 2007 and everyone involved is ecstatic over the new casting, most of all the costume department, which will reportedly no longer have to spend thousands of dollars and many man hours creating crazy Joker teeth.