HOLLYWOOD - In January of 1997, George Lucas released a controversial Special Edition of his sci-fi masterpiece, Star Wars, to the American movie-going public. Almost 10 years later, geeks everywhere, in their parent's basements, still debate whether or not Lucas went too far with his constant tinkering. Today there's a new debate raging in America over the recent purchase of Abraham Zapruder's historical footage of the Kennedy Assassination, by none other than Mr. Lucas himself. Is the public ready for "Zapruder: The Special Edition?"

Lothar here, with a pretty substantial rumor submitted by "Milky Joe". Some portions have been edited to protect the source's identity.

I came across an article that might interest you. I work for {deleted} and often have to {deleted}. When I got up off my knees, I happened to glance on her desk and saw a story due to be published tomorrow. Thought I'd give you the scoop first. Great news if you ask me. If you use this, just call me Milky Joe.

HOLLYWOOD - Amid rumors of engagements, break-ups, and marriage, it looks like Hollywood's "it" couple are actually brother and sister. That's right. Insiders say that Vince, Jen, and Vince's Dad were spirited away over the weekend to Hawaii, where the adoption papers were drawn up, legally making Jennifer Vince's sister.

NEW YORK - What works for one Gibson should work for another. At least that's what former teen sensation Debbie Gibson thought Tuesday night when she was pulled over by local police for a broken tail light. "She seemed real nice at first," claims officer Dan McFeeley of the Suffolk County Police Department, "but when she found out she wasn't getting a ticket, she suddenly got upset for some reason." McFeeley claims the names were pretty childish at first... fatso, doodie head, and nincompoop were all mentioned. "When she hit me with 'Jew Bag', I knew things had gone too far".